Here I am publishing an article about feelings of depersonalization and unreality which many anxiety sufferers have labelled the worst of all symptoms. You might want to read more on the symptoms page or check out my section on Claire Weekes. In the mean time I recommend you read this article with an open mind, because feelings of unreality can be dealt with and do not need to ruin your life.
Here it is:
D.P., as I will refer to it, is a common and understandable offshoot of the anxiety condition. I can also tell you that it is in no way a mental illness. It is not serious or harmful in any way and has a totally logical explanation. It is temporary and, with patience and understanding, eventually passes like any other symptom.
The key to recovering from this feeling of detachment is to surrender to this strange feeling, to pay it no respect and realise it is just the product of an over-tired mind, fatigued by your constant worrying thoughts and the constant checking in to how you feel. This symptom relies on your fear of it to keep it alive.
When people are caught up in the worry cycle, they begin to think deeply and constantly. They study themselves from deep within, checking in and focusing on their symptoms. They may even wake in the morning only to continue this habit,
“How do I feel this morning?”
“I wonder if I will be able to get through today”
“What’s this new sensation I feel?”
This may go on all day, exhausting their already tired mind further. This constant checking in and constant assessing of their symptoms then becomes a habit, but like all other habits this one can also be changed.
All this worry is bound to make your mind feel dull and unresponsive. Is it any wonder you have come to feel so distanced from your surroundings? Is it any wonder you find it so hard to concentrate? Some people, when studying for exams for hours on end, get to the point where they can no longer take information in, so they take a break and carry on the day after. For you, there are no breaks and no time outs.
As I have already mentioned earlier, your body has a safety mechanism that protects it from all this worry and slows the mind down to safeguard itself. It takes a step back from this onslaught, which can then produce your feelings of detachment and the world around you may become hazy or out of focus.
Once you understand this symptom as being caused by an over-tired mind, exhausted through worry, that you are not going mad and these feelings can’t harm you in any way, it makes sense. With the fear factor taken out of this symptom, it can start to hold less power over you and affect you less than it did before. Although still annoying, you now know why you feel these feelings. Once you learn to accept them and stop adding worrying thoughts to the mix, this is another symptom that you will be able to overcome in time. Taking a step back and giving up the worrying thoughts, gives your mind the chance to rest, rejuvenate and refresh.
When it happened to me, I recognised and understood what was causing it. I realised that I was checking in and worrying about it and I did fear this sensation, so I just stopped doing it. I also learnt to get busier and stop brooding on this and other symptoms. Being active gives you another focus. Having too much time on your hands can open the door to too much needless thinking. With less worry and fear of this harmless but upsetting symptom, I was eventually able to overcome it. It merely became a nuisance and because I knew the reason for its existence, it no longer held any power over me. When a worry or fear loses its importance, it loses its power and that is why it is essential to realise these symptoms are neither harmful nor serious. Gradually, without all the checking in and worrying, this symptom that so dominated my life began to diminish and eventually disappeared completely.
This symptom is like any other all symptoms are still being fuelled by your fear of them. As long as the fear continues, so will the symptoms. When we start to understand why we feel like we do, we automatically fear them less and they start to lose their edge and importance, this is when symptoms gradually start to fade.
Paul has been helping people with anxiety and panic for many years now, giving people a far better understanding of their condition. You can find more information at www.anxietynomore.co.uk
I only just came across an article on depersonalisation disorder on Wikipedia which led me to this page. I have at last learned what I have silently been suffering from over the past two years. My condition have been explained as high blood-pressure but once I managed to bring my blood pressure back to normal levels the symptoms remained. Recently I was told it could be depression and was put on 20mg SSRI medication which was just increased to 40mg. Although the meds have made an improvement and made my condition more manageable my concentration, thought process and vision remain severely impaired. I cannot begin to describe the relief I feel after living my life like a weirdo and trawling the internet for two years looking for an explanation and finally be able to pinpoint what my problem is. Thanks for posting this article!!
I have had very high level of anxiety and panic for the past four months and have had GAD for about 20 years. I have just been sat crying with absolute fear as i felt better today and was led down relaxing when this awful feeling came upon me that i wasn’t really here and nothing is real.As if i was living in a dream.Absolutely terrifying feeling.This page has helped me so much that i now feel calmer and more “with it”..Thank you….Sioned
I was researching depersonalisation disorder and came to your page. Interesting article. I have been experiencing anxiety every since i started work and it seems to have developed to become an habit. I think having too much stress is one of my concerns. Very thank you for your post. It calms me down alot.
i feel the same as if when i speak it feels fake or i am not really saying it. it is a terrible feeling i hope that i can come back to myself. it just feels as if my mind was taking away from me. your post is helpful.
I live in the UK, and have MDS Mosaic Down Syndrome and i’ve always known something else was wrong, but no one will listen to me or give me a straight answer. I have always been detached from reality for 31 years. I would love for someone to listen to me and give me a proper answer. My thought process is a bit fucked up too.
I really like this article . I’ve had depersonalization symptoms for 5 years now and am very hopeful that this will help my anxiety. I am now in eighth grade and my parents don’t really understand what i mean when i tell them that i have this feeling. But this was very helpful thank you.
This article is great and gives me a sense of relief. I’ve just been put on ciltalopram 20mg I started taking it yesterday and feel rough today. Headache and depersonalisation feeling which I find awful. Try to take my mind else where sometimes I can and sometimes I can’t. I’m just glad I’m not alone
Thanks
OMG I can’t begin to say how much better I know I will feel when this detactment/depersonalization feeling hits me again. I am 48 and have had GAD (i think never been to a doc) for 30 years on and off. There are times in my life when I have not had symptoms but lately have had this detatchment thing 2-3 times a week. I will be walking on the sidewalk (excercise) and all of a sudden feel like I’m not there, almost like dreaming, it scares the life out of me and I’m afraid I will pass out or die before I can get home to see my little Daughter again, whom I love more than anything. Its sad, but a relief to hear others speak of this awfull feeling and that there is hope. Have any of you developed a tremor in your hand, for the last 6 months I have had a tremor in my right hand. I think sometimes it may be related to the stress in my life or GAD, but the worst of all is for sure the depersonalization symptom. The way I have decribed it to others is its like I live in this bubble filled with all my worreis and sometimes outside stimulis like noise awakens me and gives me a glimpsh of the reality I’m not seeing, and then scares the heck out of me, seeming not real!
I’m going to try and really STOP worring so much although its going to be tough and take more control of my thoughts. Like I said knowing others have suffered for this same awfull symptom (and its just a symptom) gives me much hope:)
has anyone had the feeling of no feelings towards loved one’s because i had my first anxiety attack a few months back then i started to feel really detached from conversations and id look at my kids and have no feelings there almost like they were strangers..is that an off shoot of anxiety???? i have tryed to stop worrying to much but i wonder if i will keep feeling like this??????
Hi! Can’t say I have experienced exactly that in terms of family, bt anxiety certainly does make you feel pretty detached….as with all thinks anxiety related, if you keep worrying about it you add to it and make it worse…hope things improve soon! 🙂 Keep your chin up!