I have become interested in the idea that much of what we suffer as anxiety or depression is unresolved anger. Some people are of the opinion that we are carrying around "Toxic" levels of anger, from our past and present, which are making us feel anxious.
There is a whole therapy dedicated to this belief, which is called "redirecting self therapy". The therapy involves releasing anger form the past by punching pillows (or other activities) while holding a scene or a picture of a past abuser in your mind. There are a few web-sites that wax lyrical about this therapy, but it is a bit hard to find success stories. It is true though, that people tend not to publish so much good news online.
Certainly, it might be worth looking at your anxiety, depression and a host of other symptoms as repressed anger.
The big question is this: So, I’ve got repressed anger and I feel anxious and bad a lot of the time. I may or may not know the things that made me angry in the past. What can I do about it?
Well, the answer is, to feel the anger! To let it come to the surface and acknowledge it. I like to write down my anger, sometimes express it as a letter to the person who made me angry. At other times I say it out loud. Sometimes I think it while I rip up old newspapers. The Internet is fairly awash with ways to let anger out. I think the key is maybe not how you release anger, but when you release it.
I recently had a situation where someone I was fond of didn’t want to spend time with me. I felt anxious due to being rejected. I thought it meant she didn’t like me and didn’t want to be with me. As I was in need of some company I really felt quite bad about this, and when I say bad I mean rather depressed and anxious and worried. I had a kind of empty feeling. So what I did was to look at what had happened as anger, instead of anxiety or depression. I tried to think of why I might be angry and the answer was obvious. The person didn’t want to see me. I wrote it down: How dare you reject me! Do you think you are better than me? Who are you to do this to me? I made sacrifices to spend time with you… etc etc. It might sound whacky but soon I felt much better, I felt that I had accessed what I had actually been feeling, and I felt better about myself!
So, anger is something that is worth thinking about if anxiety and depression and panic are problems in your life!
